This photo is of me on the porch of my bungalow in Kauai where I was leading a yoga retreat in 2007. The pose is kapotasana, King Pigeon.

At the start of the pandemic, I offered a mediation called, "Of course."

As in, of course you bought all the toilet paper, of course you have a headache, of course you yelled at the dog.

The 50/50 conversations are underway and what a gift this has been already! I've talked to ten women so far and have been touched by every conversation. In fact, this letter is based on one of those conversations.

In 50 days, I'll turn 50 years old. In honor of that, I want to talk with 50 women before my birthday.

I want to talk with you.

This summer I had a therapy session with a new person and gave her a brief overview of things that have happened in the past some-odd years… lost a child, got married, had cancer, moved…

In case you haven't had a chance to listen to the Fire on the Mountain podcast I shared last week, I wanted to offer my favorite part of the story.

In the podcast, Ann Black shares how her family lost their home to the fire in the Santa Cruz mountains last year. Like all of the stories of fire loss and the devastation forest fires bring, it is a heartbreaking story.

Think back to the last time you felt the anguish of an undeserved situation. A time when you were dealt a hand that didn't seem fair. Fair -- a word nature does not have in her vocabulary.

My body has been talking to me for a while.
Pains and symptoms that I tried to write off as perimenopause. Changes to my body odor. Autoimmune flare ups. And then there was The Nudge.

Grief is a funny thing.

There are many myths and misconceptions around grief and grieving, as well as incongruities in our thinking about it.

Here are a few things to chew on and help you spot any hidden Grief Beliefs:

It dawned on me last week that there’s a nuance to why life is so stressful in these days of the pandemic: We are all trying to avoid something that is invisible.

I'm finding it so hard in these days of devastation, for some reason now more than other times, to talk about "regular stuff" and just go on about my day. I mean, there are wonderful things going on -- winter is my favorite, it's the start of a new year, a new decade, I have so many fresh business ideas…

At 42, three months into a new relationship, I found out I was pregnant. Seeing that “+” symbol on the First Response stick would have been surprising enough given these circumstances, but the fact that I’d struggled with infertility in my 30s and was told I couldn’t get pregnant without medical intervention made this news just completely unbelievable.

When we are a little further down the grief path — this may be months or years of calendar time — the focus shifts from surviving to acknowledging other aspects of life and thinking about the future. You may still be trying to make sense of this new life, you may feel a desire to start putting pieces together.

Well, last week we wrapped up the filming of Yoga for Grief, which will air in November on Yoga Anytime. (If you want to check out their top-notch content then or before then, use the code MICHELLE for a 30-day free trial.) I will, of course, let you know when it comes out. I am beyond excited to share it.

Our culture does not acknowledge the profound impact of major life events, and definitely does not provide the space for these types of losses to be openly discussed or shared.

In fact, we are often urged, subtly or overtly, to deal with the loss privately and swiftly.

Yet it is critical to our heart’s health and the wholeness of who we are to integrate the loss into this new way of living, eventually learning to live wholeheartedly with – not in spite of – that loss.