LET'S (NOT) TALK TRASH
Something happened last week that really bummed me out. I shared about it on social and the response was so large that it bears repeating.
In celebration of my new website launch, I indulged in a day-pass at a chichi resort to use their Olympic-sized mineral pool. That’s not the bummer part.
There was a group of four people in the chaise lounges a row ahead of me who were talking about their work. One of the women said, “I coached a bunch of people yesterday and they were all idiots.“
I was sure I misheard her. I mean, who would talk about their clients like that?
Nope, that was what she said.
She went on to recount detailed stories, one about a studio owner who didn’t have her pricing clearly marked on her website and asked for help writing an email. As she told these stories, it became clear that she coached yoga and wellness teachers and studio owners.
She called her clients idiots, brainless and stupid. She even mocked how grateful the client was when she helped her write the email.
Needless to say, I was disheartened.
Obviously, I was saddened for her clients. I’m assuming they paid her for guidance and support in building their businesses, which includes a belief in their ability to meet their goals. They look to her for modeling, not mocking. That kind of breach of trust and respect is surely felt by the clients, even if they can’t put their finger on what’s off.
But what really bummed me out was that this “coach” — and I’m using that title lightly — is missing out on the beauty that comes from truly partnering with a client and holding space for them to discover the wisest parts of themselves.
The privilege of listening to, witnessing and reflecting someone's deepest dreams and fears.
And the JOY of watching them succeed, whatever that means to them.
Sadly, it turns out that client/student trash talk is not uncommon. I heard from therapists, school teachers and coaches who have witnessed a similar kind of breach. Oh, this being human... we all have shadows.
Here's my plea...
If you are hiring a coach ... tune into your spidey-sense. If someone makes you feel like you're a mess, or if your body gives you any "icky" messages, don't hire them. Work with people who see you as nothing less than intelligent, capable, creative and wise.
Because you are.
With love,
