“We try so hard to separate joy and sorrow into their own boxes,

but the Archbishop and the Dalai Lama tell us that they are inevitably fastened together. Neither advocate the kind of fleeting happiness, often called hedonic happiness, that requires only positive states and banishes feelings like sadness to emotional exile.

The kind of happiness that they describe is often called eudemonic happiness

and is characterized by self-understanding, meaning, growth, and acceptance,

including life’s inevitable suffering, sadness, and grief.”

It’s possible that our extreme desire for comfort keeps us a little too protected. We successfully avoid situations where we are forced to grow, where there is uncertainty, where we don’t already feel adept and safe. This can make us reactive, entitled, and a little lazy.