Even small spiders cast a big shadow
One of the big selling points of yoga is that it can make you feel better.
This is evidenced by the messaging of many "yoga ads" I see online:
You're only one class away from a good mood.
Every breath is an opportunity to feel better.
8 poses to make you feel better.
I propose that before you feel better -- or maybe in order to feel better -- you first need to feel.
Just plain and simple, feel your feelings.
Feel the sadness of disappointment.
Feel the hurt of betrayal.
Feel the grief of loss.
Feel the anger, the confusion, the fear...
Any feeling that didn't get to be felt. We need spaces where we are free to feel things outside of the narrow lane of "high vibes only."
There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel better. The irony is when we avoid or shun so-called hard emotions, they don't get to live out their natural life cycle. They can get pushed into the shadows, where, like a tiny spider shadow, they can seem even bigger than the original feeling. In this way, we never get to that place of feeling "better" because that feeling is still in there... making big shadow figures on the wall.
This is one of my favorite things about my yoga mat -- it's a place and time that's just mine. No taking care of anyone, no worry about how my actions are impacting others. I get to move, make sounds, or do nothing. I get to slow down and let my feelings flow like water.
Do I often feel "better" afterward? Yes! But that's not my goal or a requirement. This is why my main intention when guiding a class is to invite you to bring all of yourself into that moment and make space for your feelings -- especially any that you haven't had time for.
For me, getting on the mat is like stepping into an open field where I can see my surroundings more clearly, after being cramped in a corner with no view... or resting in a soft hammock after being in a rigid chair.
What's it like for you? Do tell...
The next time you want to feel better, start with just feeling... whatever you're feeling, or trying to not feel.
Let me know how it goes...
With love,
